Saint Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. If you are a married man, you need to read this. It could save you a lot of grief.
Getting What You Want
Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love.
But, today, it seems love is more about getting what you want. It is about getting your needs met. It might be your need for sex, romance, acceptance, validation, companionship or a number of other possibilities. Whatever it is, we seek what we call love to fulfill our needs and expectations.
In some respects, there is nothing wrong with this. I mean certainly a loving wife should seek to meet your needs, right?
The problem is many husbands have become obsessed with their needs. This is not real love.
Jesus Sets the Standard for Loving Your Wife
Here is what God says to us about love and marriage:
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… Ephesians 5:25 ESV
How did Jesus love the church? He died to himself for her. He sacrificed all He had to give. He poured out His life for the forgiveness of her sins.
Our King calls us to lay down our lives – our needs, our desires, our plans, our Sunday afternoons – for our wives.
Often our knee-jerk reaction to this is, “Yeah, but…”
- She never reciprocates.
- It is never enough.
- She never appreciates what I do.
- She doesn’t do what Jesus tells her.
Doesn’t matter. We are called to be obedient. There are no caveats.
You can’t control your wife or her response. You only control you. Are you doing your absolute best to love your wife as Christ loved the church?
What To Do for Valentine’s Day
Where do you go from here?
Do you go out and spend every last dime you have to buy her the biggest diamond you can find for Valentine’s Day? Not necessarily.
I don’t think that’s what God’s getting at. Here’s what He says real love looks like:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV
Your wife wants to be loved this way. She was built for it by her Creator. This is the greatest thing you can give her.
So put away your pride. Stop seeking what you want. Control your anger. Let go of your record of wrongs.
Protect her. Trust her.
Don’t lose hope for your marriage. Persevere in loving your wife. Because real love never fails.